Foot Wear Affair

Confession

I just had a raucous affair.

What?  I did!  Don't judge me man...

It is just with a pair of

SHOES

:D

I'm a sentimental.  A horrible ~ terrible ~ useless SENTIMENTAL

emphasis on the

MENTAL

I've L.o.v.e.d. every stinkin' minute in these shoes. 

EVERY one

The minute I ran longer than I thought I could, so I ran some more

The minute I thought I would die, but just kept going.

The minute my legs felt like anvils and I just kept dragging them.

The horrid freezing cold mornings I ran anyway.

The minute I would have twisted an ankle and didn't.

The minute in the morning I decided to start my day wearing these.

The minutes I was alone on a trail blissed out from the rush from running long.

The minute I decided to re-run the Champoeg 10k.

and

The minute I finished it.

EVERY one

I've actually kissed my running shoes right on the mouth!

So....

How could I just leave them here this morning and bounce down 'our' trail in

THESE 'Shiney' new shoes?????

I'm a cheater.  I should be on that show, "Cheaters".

They do a close up of my old shoe sobbing at the sight of me and my new black laced shoes coming up the sidewalk on the way home ~ both of us ~ GRINNING our laces off...

Busted!

It was beautiful while it lasted. you sweet, pretty, little, blue and silver shoes..... I will love you forever for what you gave me back..... I promise to take you out to play tennis sometime when I don't need quite so much from you and we can just look cool like we used to....

SO LONG...... old friend.....

HELLO! Flashy lady numero dos!

Lets go!!!!!

Because I SAID I WOULD...

Long story short

I have been getting massages (Lupus)one a month for YEARS...

from

Massage Envy

UNTIL

I tried to cancel my 'membership'

THEN

THEY CHARGED ME FOR 2 EXTRA MASSAGES

(because of a sneaky time frame clause)

THEN

Right before my 10k I decided to redeem my last one....

AND

They told me I was timed out and could NOT get it

EVEN THOUGH I DID NOT WANT TO PAY FOR IT FROM THE START

SO

I wrote the manager

He blah, blah, blah-ed about squeaky wheels and free stuff.

MY WHEELS ARE GREASY DUDE

Plain and Simple

I PAID FOR SOMETHING THEY DID NOT GIVE ME.

and WELL.....have you met me?????

Here is my letter:

Hello Michelle,

I am going to offer you another moment of my time to further explain.  Consider yourself indulged, cause' I am a busy woman.

I own a business.  I am savvy when it comes to Customer Service.  Let me illuminate what is broken about your efforts.

Your are assumptions are skewed. 

1.You assume when someone cancels their membership they will not be back.

(I HAD every intention of returning for years and years to come...until I was 'tricked into purchasing 2 more massages upon my exit)

2. You assume that people are trying to get something for nothing.  I was not.  I paid for a massage that I did not receive.  That is the bottom line. Period.

3. You assume that if someone is a  'squeaky wheel' they just want stuff for free.  I do not need anything 'for free'.  I need a quality experience and am willing (as is shown for the YEARS I paid Massage Envy) to pay for it.  The monetary value is not a concern to me in the slightest.

The reception assistant who informed me per my 'conditions' on my membership contract was in fact obstinate, impatient, aggressive, negative and hateful.  Fact.

I would never in a million years hire a person so hostile to represent my intention in a customer service capacity. She basically insured that a valuable customer left unhappy and resistant. Mistake.

I was lead to believe that your place of business was service centered.  My mistake.

Yes, I will use my blog as a forum to bring you negative attention.  If you notice I have over 19,000 views.  I will also make sure I mention it to a service organization I associate with that has hundreds of members in this area.

Why would I take time to do that or type this?  One reason, your business plan is flawed and tricky and backhanded. You deserve it.

I gave you an opportunity to correct the situation that "Mr. Earring Holes" passed on. Poor choice +  Poor customer experience + Poor business model =

Well, ...ME.

SUMMARY= DON'T GO TO MASSAGE ENVY IN COVINGTON WASHINGTON

Simply because

THEY ARE TRICKY MEAN

and

STINK ALL SMELLY

in the Customer Service category.

( I warned them, and they PICKED THIS instead of a refund)

... and that is all I'm going to say about that ...

Keeping

THIS ONE

For myself

You all can have the rest, but this one is

M.I.N.E.

NEVER SHAVE YOUR TOES and other stuff I wish I'd figured out earlier...

Sure, there is advice ad nasuem about what to do with your life.  Been there, read that, probably wrote some of it too :)  This post is about the decisions I regret from time to time.  The ones insignificant and yet, present enough to irk me almost daily.  Had I known better, I probably would not have done...... ~ wait~...... I take it back.... I still would have had to find out for myself.  If you are lazy and don't want to do it the hard way, then I suggest you read these:

I know when you have the pretty polish shining, and a nice pedicure it seems contraindicated to sport a few hairs on your big toe.  Frankly, they clash with the aforementioned girlishness of perhaps, glitter or even flower decals.  However, and I beg you, DO NOT shave the few hairs on your big toe.  You will find regret in the form of a ape like proliferation in the future.  Just trust me on this one.

I thought it charming and cozy to match my towels to every bathroom in my house when I was 25.   Yes, I hung a few 'display' towels back in the day, which, frankly crack me up now. I was married in the era of 'jewel tones', emerald green, ruby red, and sapphire blue decor.

Now I wish I had only EVER purchased WHITE. 

 I would love a linen closet filled with the exact same color.  White.  I could then bleach to my hearts content and feel certain I would not ruin a thing.  As it stands, I am still choosy in the extreme about my towels.  Mostly, it is a smell qualifier, but I also infinitely prefer a white towel that smells of hard bleach.  If I had it to do again.....

I would only buy white.

 I have also kept too much wedding fodder for too long.  It has taken me almost 2 decades to realize that just because it is expensive does not necessarily mean I love it or even like it.  Don't cling to 'stuff' or display stuff just because it is costly.  Who cares if its displayed or stored safely, if it doesn't truly speak to you and make your space lovely or inspired. 

I remember literally putting everything we got after we were married in the 'knick nack' category on one shelf!

ALL OF IT. 

The very idea of that, makes me want to poke my eyes right out of my head.

  Why did I do that?  Because it was m.i.n.e. Silly, silly display dysfunctional girl.

Purge

The singular and new and deeply comforting experience of sleeping next to someone else for the first little while was remarkable to me. Remarkably contented yet remarkably sleep deprived.  Every time Marc moved, I woke up.  Every time I woke up my neck was 'cricked' and stuck in 'slept on chest' position.  Sleeping next to Marc was like snuggling up with a V8, dude sleeps HOT. 

I happily endured MANY years of the midnight snore/heat/locked neck shuffle.

Until the day I just couldn't.  So I didn't.  I went to the other side of the bed and got some serious sleep.  Baby, I love me some good sleep. 

Now, its cuddle, huddle, cuddle, huddle, BREAK~ go to your opposite corner....SLEEP

Wait.  I would learn to wait.  I would just kick it and watch a little more.  I wouldn't drive so fast and hard to achieve what I wanted.  I would stop.  I would listen.  I would just plain wait patiently.  Your posture in your marriage and in your life is all about the vantage point that brings joy.  When I am pushing myself and others (okay, Marc) I forget to check out the entire vista.

The vista's,......that is where LIFE actually IS. 

I would do better at this one thing for sure.

Probably

but....I am fond of driving :)

It is interesting to me that I keep coming back to myself. 

I keep arriving at the same conclusion.

Over

and

Over.

The conclusion:  I should have trusted myself more.  I should have owned my identity more.

I should have let go of trying so dang hard, and just allowed ideas to come to fruition on their own.

They do.

and yet....

I think the not shaving the toes is still viable advice you should consider, 

unless you want to remember to shave them the rest of your life.

Imagine yourself in retirement with giant bushy toe hair....

I know.....gew

I might not be right about the rest, but about the

TOES

?

DEFINITELY

Editors Note ~ Those are NOT m.y. TOES above.... N.O.T.

Formidable Female

A discussion I had with my husband last night really lit a fire in my chest.  We were discussing what it takes to raise children in what we consider, "The Last Days".  The days before Jesus Christ will return and we will ALL know the truth, have the answers and figure it out FINALLY.

In our dissection of the order and manifestation of things as 'they really are' we feel like it is time to "shore up".  What does that mean exactly?  It means its time to be 'on guard' and 'defensive' and 'proactive' in our resources and energy issued to protect our family.

It is time to be ready to fight.

Fight for what is worthy and good and true, is what I mean.  Our job as parents INCLUDES fighting.  We absolutely have to.  Evil abounds, Satan knows what he is doing, and we can't ignore the fact that we have to be prepared and 'armed' for battle.

Oh, do I ever struggle.... I do.  There is a part of me that is just a fighter.  By definition, I am a warrior.  I am.  It is just in my construction.  I feel a great inclination to defend my children and home at every cost. I am a formidible female, on guard, on watch and ready.  I have an extremely fierce and fiery side.  In my core, I am a protector.

Yet, truly, I am only strong because my life has value immeasurable.  I glean strength from the structure of our home.  Marc is the leader, hands down.  I feel stronger because I know for a fact that he has us under his protection.  I feel emboldened knowing he will ALWAYS be our protector.  Thus, I feel I am truly capable to fight for what we know is right in our family.

And...

My nature is very feminine, lovely, beautiful and sweet.  That is who I am too. 

Thus this particular conflict within my own definition.

 I struggle like crazy with both sides. 

My conclusion last night became audible for the first time.

It is:

I am a fighter.  I was made to be fierce and bold and indomitable. 

It is that way because  what I am protecting is so, so good and so beautiful and so rare.

A righteous family.

Its time to shore up and be fierce and unfailing with truth.

and

I am feminine, thus by divine design to allow my perceptions and nurturing to be honored.  I trust my womanly instincts better than I ever have before.  I can tell the difference between emotive rants and true intuition.  These too, make me more formidable.

Both

I

NEED

BOTH

With both fight and femininity I can create and protect God's most important institution.

The family.

I am beginning to understand that I came this way for a reason.

A very important one, not to be ignored or denied.

I'm a warrior fighting for my family.

Every single day.

Dukes Up Baby

The Valentines Heart Mend ~ORRC style

In general, I'm not much of a cryer.  I don't know why.  I just don't usually cry when other people do.  When my children were born I did not shed a tear.  Rather, I was in a state of shock and kept repeating,"I can't believe he is real", stuff like that. Its like I stand outside of most major events as a commentator instead of as a participator.  Odd? I suppose. Just me, though.

YET

This week I had my heart broken and then mended and it....

Made me cry! 

Yes, I suppose, now I am one of those sappy eye leaker all overers.  I give.

Wanna know what did it?  What melted my uniquely dry heart?

Oh, alright, I'll tell you, but only cause' you will not stop asking. :)

Once upon a time, 6 years ago... I started running.  True, I surprised myself by finishing 5 whole minutes on a treadmill initially, and then, well, it took on a life of its own.  I would wake up feeling like running and couldn't wait to get outside.  It changed my life. I ran my first 10k with the Oregon Road Runners Club in Champoeg Oregon.  My goal was just to finish.  I did.  I got my little yellow fleece jacket and felt like I was on top of the world.

Then I got very sick.

Very.

I had pneumonia on repeat/extreme fatigue/pain in every joint in my body/headaches etc...etc....

I fell into 'survival' mode.  My life consisted of making sure kids are clean and fed and got to school.  I stopped moving and surrendered to the disease I was once diagnosed with years before: 

Systemic Lupus.  It came back with a vengeance and I lost my momentum.

LONG STORY ~ shorter~ We moved to Washington, I stayed ill for about 5 years.  I was frozen.

Until last summer...

I walked around my block with my hips literally SCREAMING with every step, my shoulder completely locked and arm unusable, and with a significant amount of weight I had gathered while ill and unconsciously eating and not moving.  It was embarrassing to walk that day. I was consumed with self awareness and pride.

But...

I kept walking and walking and walking and walking.  Little by little by little I got stronger.  I started a new medication and began to heal a bit.  Still had symptoms, but was able to move.  I started jogging/running a few minutes at a time.  Truly feeling like 10 whole minutes was a miraculous running phenomenon worthy of the 5 o'clock news :)

Every time I would run I would pay an extremely high price in the 'pain management' column of my life for days on end.  Yet, I kept going.  My momentum was returning... one step (literally) at a time.

I set a goal to re-run the Champoeg race in Oregon that I had done 6 years before.

The idea of that scared me to death.  Which is why I decided I had to do it.

I jumped online to find out when the race was and started running.

I came back to officially 'sign up' and discovered I was TOO LATE! The race was CLOSED!!!

I literally felt my heart break and my stomach lurch... Waves of sadness roared in my ears.

THEN...(because I'm a persistent little bugger)

I started BEGGING.....seriously......BEGGING the ORRC leaders to let me run...  I told them a little about how symbolic the race was to me and pleaded for a chance.  All those miles, all the workouts, every time I fought this damnable disease to get to do this race again was slipping away from my grasp.  I am only one teeny tiny step ahead of Lupus and I thought,

"Crap its going to get me again".

And then.....

The night before Valentine's Day I got a call from Billy Strick.  A stranger.  The guy in charge of the races for ORRC.  He MELTED my heart by telling me they would add me to the race.  To top that, they are doing it for FREE!  I was elated to say it mildly. Here is the letter I got the next day:

Steve Steiner

Feb 14 (1 day ago)

Good Morning Debi,

Billy Strick and I are excited to have you take part in the 10k!

Attached please find the registration form for your complimentary entry to the Champoeg 10k / 30k on March 3. Please mail the completed form to the listed address. We look forward to finishing the 10k!

Sincerely,

Steve Steiner

I had to leave on some errands right after the call and for heaven's sake I BAWLED the whole way in my car by myself.  I just truly could not hold it back.  Water works USA!

Can you stand it?  Isn't that so WONDERFUL, that they would do that for me? 

I'm so so so grateful.

I'm going on March 3rd to reclaim my 'true' self on the trail. 

The symbolism couldn't have happened anywhere else.

Thank You ORRC!!!!

I'm slow...but I am going to finish if I have to freaking crawl and scratch to the end with my fingernails in the dirt, dragging a locked shoulder and an old lady hip down that trail to the

finish line!

I'm coming back.

In EVERY way.

SHE BELIEVED SHE COULD......AND

SHE WILL.



~LIGHT LOOKER UPPER~

My wonderful husband and I were blessed enough to visit our temple here in Seattle this weekend. 

And as I am 'wont' to do from time to bloggity time, I realized something. 

I am a

LOOKER UPPER

I know it may seem more reverent or pious to keep my head bowed.  Yet, during meetings and sometimes during quiet prayers, I look up.  Everyone else is looking down.  I look up.

I can't help it.

That is where the LIGHT IS

 Am I in trouble?  Should I be?  It's in my nature to look to the light, yours too.

I LOVE the reflections, literally and figuratively. Light breeds light.

In our temples there are often chandeliers.  They are the perfect symbol of that principle.

Reflect is a VERB.  The crystal and glass reflect if filled and so do we. 

 If we are filled with the LIGHT.

It is my 'pinion that there is very little difference in

THIS LIGHT

and in

THIS LIGHT

Really, they are the same.  We are suppose to LOOK UP for answers, inspiration, guidance, help, more understanding.  It is much easier for us here on earth if we have the truth

ILLUMINATED.

Next time the sacrament is passed.  Try looking up at the lights.

Recognizing the symbolic source of the literal LIGHT.

and then

LET

IT

SHINE