Judge not that ye be not 'A JERK'

A possible translation? Alteration? Come on, that's what it means right? Well, it actually says "that ye be not judged". Fact is, we are all judging all the time. I know I am. I had an Epiphany recently that is blog worthy.

My sister and I had an angry tangle. I had written her a letter not mincing any words, or sugar coating them for easy swallowing. I just layed it all out there. Felt indignant. Felt justified. Felt frustration. Felt satisfied.

Then, she texted me.

She said, "I was judging her". "I was being 'self righteousness' "

At first, I was ticked. I shared it with my husband who readily jumped on my side of the issues and defended me. Darn right he should. I was right after all...

The next morning, I spent some quiet time alone before everyone else woke up, reading a few conference talks. I re-read the message from President Monson. I discovered, I was doing the exact same thing that had been done to me earlier in the year. I was destroyed by that experience. I was sick to realized I had done something equal to that wounding moment. In fact, I was the one doing the 'wounding'. I truly was called to repent. I was wrong. Ouch.

Here is the link to that perfect message:
http://www.ldschurchnews.com/articles/59921/Judge-not-President-Monson-counsels-women.html

I wrote my sister and apologized and instantly felt the Spirit return to my heart. I asked her to forgive me and let it go. It healed our relationship and brought a very real element to our connection. That feeling of reconciliation was so sweet instead of the sour 'rightness' of judging.

Wow, was that ever the right thing to do. I am so grateful for a Modern Day prophet. I am so grateful I listened. I am so grateful I took my 'righteous pride' and tossed it aside and put my relationship with my sister in front of being 'right'.
It was difficult. It hurt to grow that way. It also kept me from being a 'jerk'.

Why do we do this to each other so often?

Why do we think we know what they should do. We have the perfect answer to all of their problems if they would just do 1., 2,. 3.... then they would be happier right? Oh, I see, you don't do that?.... Well, ask yourself if you have ever thought this;

"He should just stop smoking"
"She should stop spending so much"
"He should pay more attention to his family"
"She should be more organized"
"He should have thought of that before he married her"
"She should have seen that coming"
"He should have worked harder"
"She should yell less"
"He should just exercises more"
"I would never do that"
"I would never wear that"
"I would never need that"
"I would never be that way"
"I would never let my kid do that"
"I would never make that choice"

shouldwouldshoulwouldshouldwouldshouldwouldshouldwouldshouldwould

No?, yeah, I have NEVER said those kind of things to myself or to others... LIE

I totally have.

Lesson on the Ferris wheel of life d'jour.

DON'T JUDGE

Because you do not know what that person's life is all about. You don't know what kind of hurt they may be getting over. You do not know what lessons they learned badly growing up. You are not them. You simply can't know what is in their heart.You do not have the information to judge anyone else because you do not know where anyone is coming from but you. Sure you might be able to do those things better but I bet you there is something that person does better than you too.

Only HE can judge us. Only HE heal us. Why would we dare to assume WE could do what HE does? Its the most arrogant and self involved perspective imaginable.


The fact is we are all broken people. No one on the planet is whole yet.
We can never say never, we can never gloat in should/would.

That, I did learn from my experience last year of being on the other side of the conceited judgement. I will take the 'higher' road and walk with my imperfect self along side with everyone else and their 'imperfect' selves...I will keep trying to be a better me and that includes having a better perspective on judgement.

I am going to do much better. I am. At least I am going to try a lot harder.One brushstroke at a time until I get it right. One brush at a time....