Navigating my way through the first two weeks of MVBL.
Here are a few lists of
'On my mindness'
Stuff that is helping: My father in law saying, "Go for it", Nils Nelson (who I am determined to take down), stopping by in his van and cheering me on (dang it, I am trying to stay ornery :)), My team mates and their brilliant rhetoric while we walk, My stalwart friend Julie Wilson who sent me a scale that would blow your mind... It does everything but brush my teeth! Recording all my efforts on our blog helps, Getting all junk food out of the house helps, Having better songs on my Ipod helps (thanks Adam!), and preparing food that I can eat helps..
Stuff that continues to confuse me: Why does it seem that EVERYONE else can eat the stuff I cannot and not have it make them a tub O'L? Can I ever include sweets again in my diet? What do I do when someone gives me something or brings me something or invites me over for something that I cannot eat, is it ruinously rude to refuse? Do I want to be THAT person? Do I like her or want to spend time with her? I didn't before, so.... What about my kids? Should I let them still have junk food? How much? How little? At all? Ever? What do I do when we go camping and its time for S'mores? Seriously, stuff like that swirles in my mind in week 2. Been here plenty of times before and STILL have no 'moderation' answer that lasts forever.
Stuff that's bugging me: New gel inserts for my tender heels, which then in turn made some gnarly blisters in the middle of my foot, Tuesday pain, because I take my medicine once a week and by Tues night, I'm hurtin' b.a.d., Tapering off my steroids causes me great amounts of fatigue and pain, it is a giant sized bummer (just like my giant sized bummer!) Trying to stop my diet coke a day addiction, I'm convinced 1 a day helps my motor run, but need to give this one up soon, Trying to remember every detail I need to be successful, I'm a lazy remembererer...
Stuff that stressing me: I think there is a dark level of pain I am going to have to face and go right through the middle of to get where I want to go permanently. I'm very afraid of all that damage surfacing. It keeps knocking on my psyche and its getting louder and louder as this change happens. Crappers, don't want to face that stuff, EVER. Alas, its a giant piece of my missing puzzle. Will have to excavate soon :(
HOWEVER - I have lost 12 pounds in my now 2 weeks.
So...... I'm kinda stoked.
Something is working.
Week 3 here I come!
I need to get me a team Debi T-shirt :)
ReplyDeleteI read an article once on when maintain your weight you need to eat well 90% of the time and I've found that works pretty well for me when I'm maintaining. I'm not the type to not eat dessert or turn down eating out or at a friends house (or not make s'mores) - I just try and be good the rest of the time and I've found it doesnt add on anything. As for the pain - sorry about all that - wish I had some great insights there. Congrats on 12 - that's amazing! I want a team Debi short too!
ReplyDeleteOops - shirt!
ReplyDeleteI feel really strongly about not depriving your children. We grew up with no treats or sodas in the house, and the rare treat that came in, maybe a family night treat or chips and dip on a summer night, was instantly divied up and devoured and gone. And we didn't have a lot of money for treats either. So once I was on my own I wanted treats, soda, everything. So...with my kids I might say "Eat your healthy food first" and never referred to things as 'fattening' unless they were asking about fat. During the high school years my girls began regulating themselves. Even though I did Weight watchers I would never push it on them. i don't want them to inherit my weight hang ups.
ReplyDeleteAlso a big believer in meditation. It is proven to lower cortisol levels and I lost a lot of weight when I was consistent. Being consistent is a big job though.