You LOOK nice today, but ARE YOU?

You LOOK nice today, but ARE YOU?

More often than not, I am troubled by the word 'nice'.

She is SOOOO 'nice'. He is SOOOOO 'nice'.  THEY are SOOOOOO 'nice'.

N.I.C.E.

That word gives me a HHHhhhmmmmmm........ mid sentence/typing/thinking.....

Hmmmm.... 

I will tell you right now, I do not think I am very 'nice'. 

I choke on 'nice'.

Let me tell you why before you say, "I always knew she was a hater...."

I know a ton of people who say, "No offense, but.....", "I'm not trying to be mean but......"

"She is NICE, but......"

OR

Does being 'nice' require you to shroud everything you say and or do with a preface of its 'niceness' qualifier?  Does that actually work? 

Actually, it does.  You can say, "That was not my intention" which is the adult way of saying,

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO....."

and get off the hook ~

happens a lot

What if you are 'acting NICE' but really FEEL mean?

If you are speaking from a 'fake' or saccharin posture....

Is it actually a way of being 'NICE' or is it a way of being clever/false/disingenuous?

I'm actually pretty sure it does not 'COUNT' if  your viseral meanness and your intent do not match your visible efforts.  Yet, if we all really truly expressed our discontent and judgement verbally, we would be fairly honest, and frankly

MEAN

It is best we keep that stuff to ourselves.  It is.  We should not have a license to harm for 'honesty' sake alone.  I'm not sure I want NO FILTERS out there.  We need the edit button in action.  I do.

Yet, I'm still confused.  Mostly, because I don't think I qualify as someone you would call,

"Nice"

I am generous, I am willing to serve, I am a hard worker, I am kind, I am good at sharing myself,

I am a thousand other adjectives

except for

NICE

I've worried over that a lot.  I examine it daily. 

I've spent a lot of years handing out cookies, and baking bread, and offering....

Don't get me wrong

I am a thoughtful person

but... 

I wasn't raised by 'nice' people.

No offense Mom and Dad, but.....

SEE HOW EASY THAT WAS?????? Lol!

Fact is, my parents were, most of the time, completely unaware of others.

Both uniquely eccentric and self involved, they did not model

'NICE'

That does not mean that as an adult I do not know how to act nice.

I do.

Its just the ACTING part I struggle with ...

And yet, if I am really being my genuine self, I will probably end up doing things like:

Telling you the truth when you ask my opinion

(don't want the truth, don't ask me, ask someone 'nice')

Laughing at someone else's foibles

(life is funny! especially when something unexpected happens!)

Pinching or punching or popping you in the arm

(i'm like that, i will whop ya)

Playing a prank on you

(ice water in the shower, polish on your toenails on april fools day, goofing with your phone)

These are things I am POSITIVE

"Nice"

people would never do.

Told to "disguise" these, so nobody would know what they were.... this was the result.

If I was 'nice' I would be 'sad' if this was embarrassing to that person.

I'm not,

 so I just think

 it is

HILARIOUS

My question today is really one thing....

"Can you be perfectly 'nice' and still have a decent personality?

What do you think?

Mormon Bubble

recently i had someone tell me i lived in a mormon bubble

i've thought about that

i suppose it could be true ~ i intentionally do not allow degrading and worldly input into our bubble
in fact~ i am fierce when it comes to 'our bubble' ~ i reside in a posture of protectiveness in my home

the rest of my children's lives ~ after they leave home will be in a world where so many people

serve only themselves, their lusts, their addictions, their ideas of 'percieved freedom'

yet

when you engage in life without 'a bubble' you avail yourself to many tendencies that could in fact

TRAP

YOU

lets use smoking as the example.  if you allow tobacco into your 'bubble' you risk the possibility of becoming dependant on the nicotine contained in a cigarette.  if that happens, which it has been shown to, are you in fact "FREE"?

OR

are you trapped by a substance that inhibits your finances, physical health and lifestyle?

can you go visit a newborn baby in the hospital and 'light up' in the nursery?

really?

why not?

i thought you were 'FREE'!

the 'bubble' begs a couple of questions.

are you stuck?  or  are you protected?

SAFE

i believe prophets.

i believe men of God.

i do not know exactly every single reason there is to obey every single thing.

however, i am convinced i will one day.

until then

i am working diligently to construct, manage, maintain, offer, teach, love and design a

BUBBLE

for those i love and want to look after and keep whole.

choose

to

fight

wickedness and evil

(because if you don't think they exist then YOU ARE IN A BUBBLE ABOUT TO POP!)

 

even if you have to survive it in a 'bubble'.

 

i quote a beautiful friend who said to me once,

"do what works."

 

simple as that.

 

Be strong, and let your heart take courage...

"Because I knew it, and I know the Lord knew it" (js)

Years, YEARS, I spent STUCK/TRAPPED/FROZEN. Coping daily on 'survival setting'.

YEARS.

t.h.e.n.

I 'tried' ONE MORE TIME.

To be honest, the Holy Ghost whispered ever so softly that...

it.  was.  time.

Ever heard that nagging knowing voice in your mind?  A gentle push, felt in the heart strings?

I do.  A lot, actually.

This time... I listened ~ obeyed ~ and jumped into the dark. 

Ever heard that phrase, "Timing is EVERYTHING." 

That is, in fact, true.  It is because it is HIS timing that matters.

He knows what he is doing.

What I thought would undo me ~

PUT ME BACK TOGETHER instead.

I keep feeling a prompting to share the source of strength and the divinity within that guided my path to healthful living again.  By no means am I finished....at all, absolutely not done.  However, I am on my way.  My Savior, Jesus Christ, has made my 'weak thing, STRONG'. 

 Its absolutely HIM.

I was teaching Lily about the 10 lepers this morning.  I told her, "Only ONE came back to say, "thank you".  She gasped, "Oh, if that was me...., I would have gone back to say thank you."

She is right.

So

That is what I am going to do.

I'm going back to say, 'THANK YOU'.

I am grateful beyond words for the return of my physical strength and stamina.  I know I am blessed.  I do not boast of myself.  I truly am not made of what it really takes to accomplish such a transformation.  Yet, I DO KNOW where to get help. 

He is strong ~ I am weak.

He is merciful ~ I needed mercy

He is constant ~ I needed help AGAIN

He is with me ~ I know that and feel it every time I want to quit.

I took courage, waited, and am stronger.

I praise and honor Him. 

I believe there is help for anyone who suffers or struggles or feels like they can't really trust themselves anymore. 

In fact, I know it.

Today, I am suppose to tell you about that.

I hope it helped someone.

ETHER 12:27

look. it. up.

Foot Wear Affair

Confession

I just had a raucous affair.

What?  I did!  Don't judge me man...

It is just with a pair of

SHOES

:D

I'm a sentimental.  A horrible ~ terrible ~ useless SENTIMENTAL

emphasis on the

MENTAL

I've L.o.v.e.d. every stinkin' minute in these shoes. 

EVERY one

The minute I ran longer than I thought I could, so I ran some more

The minute I thought I would die, but just kept going.

The minute my legs felt like anvils and I just kept dragging them.

The horrid freezing cold mornings I ran anyway.

The minute I would have twisted an ankle and didn't.

The minute in the morning I decided to start my day wearing these.

The minutes I was alone on a trail blissed out from the rush from running long.

The minute I decided to re-run the Champoeg 10k.

and

The minute I finished it.

EVERY one

I've actually kissed my running shoes right on the mouth!

So....

How could I just leave them here this morning and bounce down 'our' trail in

THESE 'Shiney' new shoes?????

I'm a cheater.  I should be on that show, "Cheaters".

They do a close up of my old shoe sobbing at the sight of me and my new black laced shoes coming up the sidewalk on the way home ~ both of us ~ GRINNING our laces off...

Busted!

It was beautiful while it lasted. you sweet, pretty, little, blue and silver shoes..... I will love you forever for what you gave me back..... I promise to take you out to play tennis sometime when I don't need quite so much from you and we can just look cool like we used to....

SO LONG...... old friend.....

HELLO! Flashy lady numero dos!

Lets go!!!!!

Because I SAID I WOULD...

Long story short

I have been getting massages (Lupus)one a month for YEARS...

from

Massage Envy

UNTIL

I tried to cancel my 'membership'

THEN

THEY CHARGED ME FOR 2 EXTRA MASSAGES

(because of a sneaky time frame clause)

THEN

Right before my 10k I decided to redeem my last one....

AND

They told me I was timed out and could NOT get it

EVEN THOUGH I DID NOT WANT TO PAY FOR IT FROM THE START

SO

I wrote the manager

He blah, blah, blah-ed about squeaky wheels and free stuff.

MY WHEELS ARE GREASY DUDE

Plain and Simple

I PAID FOR SOMETHING THEY DID NOT GIVE ME.

and WELL.....have you met me?????

Here is my letter:

Hello Michelle,

I am going to offer you another moment of my time to further explain.  Consider yourself indulged, cause' I am a busy woman.

I own a business.  I am savvy when it comes to Customer Service.  Let me illuminate what is broken about your efforts.

Your are assumptions are skewed. 

1.You assume when someone cancels their membership they will not be back.

(I HAD every intention of returning for years and years to come...until I was 'tricked into purchasing 2 more massages upon my exit)

2. You assume that people are trying to get something for nothing.  I was not.  I paid for a massage that I did not receive.  That is the bottom line. Period.

3. You assume that if someone is a  'squeaky wheel' they just want stuff for free.  I do not need anything 'for free'.  I need a quality experience and am willing (as is shown for the YEARS I paid Massage Envy) to pay for it.  The monetary value is not a concern to me in the slightest.

The reception assistant who informed me per my 'conditions' on my membership contract was in fact obstinate, impatient, aggressive, negative and hateful.  Fact.

I would never in a million years hire a person so hostile to represent my intention in a customer service capacity. She basically insured that a valuable customer left unhappy and resistant. Mistake.

I was lead to believe that your place of business was service centered.  My mistake.

Yes, I will use my blog as a forum to bring you negative attention.  If you notice I have over 19,000 views.  I will also make sure I mention it to a service organization I associate with that has hundreds of members in this area.

Why would I take time to do that or type this?  One reason, your business plan is flawed and tricky and backhanded. You deserve it.

I gave you an opportunity to correct the situation that "Mr. Earring Holes" passed on. Poor choice +  Poor customer experience + Poor business model =

Well, ...ME.

SUMMARY= DON'T GO TO MASSAGE ENVY IN COVINGTON WASHINGTON

Simply because

THEY ARE TRICKY MEAN

and

STINK ALL SMELLY

in the Customer Service category.

( I warned them, and they PICKED THIS instead of a refund)

... and that is all I'm going to say about that ...

Keeping

THIS ONE

For myself

You all can have the rest, but this one is

M.I.N.E.

NEVER SHAVE YOUR TOES and other stuff I wish I'd figured out earlier...

Sure, there is advice ad nasuem about what to do with your life.  Been there, read that, probably wrote some of it too :)  This post is about the decisions I regret from time to time.  The ones insignificant and yet, present enough to irk me almost daily.  Had I known better, I probably would not have done...... ~ wait~...... I take it back.... I still would have had to find out for myself.  If you are lazy and don't want to do it the hard way, then I suggest you read these:

I know when you have the pretty polish shining, and a nice pedicure it seems contraindicated to sport a few hairs on your big toe.  Frankly, they clash with the aforementioned girlishness of perhaps, glitter or even flower decals.  However, and I beg you, DO NOT shave the few hairs on your big toe.  You will find regret in the form of a ape like proliferation in the future.  Just trust me on this one.

I thought it charming and cozy to match my towels to every bathroom in my house when I was 25.   Yes, I hung a few 'display' towels back in the day, which, frankly crack me up now. I was married in the era of 'jewel tones', emerald green, ruby red, and sapphire blue decor.

Now I wish I had only EVER purchased WHITE. 

 I would love a linen closet filled with the exact same color.  White.  I could then bleach to my hearts content and feel certain I would not ruin a thing.  As it stands, I am still choosy in the extreme about my towels.  Mostly, it is a smell qualifier, but I also infinitely prefer a white towel that smells of hard bleach.  If I had it to do again.....

I would only buy white.

 I have also kept too much wedding fodder for too long.  It has taken me almost 2 decades to realize that just because it is expensive does not necessarily mean I love it or even like it.  Don't cling to 'stuff' or display stuff just because it is costly.  Who cares if its displayed or stored safely, if it doesn't truly speak to you and make your space lovely or inspired. 

I remember literally putting everything we got after we were married in the 'knick nack' category on one shelf!

ALL OF IT. 

The very idea of that, makes me want to poke my eyes right out of my head.

  Why did I do that?  Because it was m.i.n.e. Silly, silly display dysfunctional girl.

Purge

The singular and new and deeply comforting experience of sleeping next to someone else for the first little while was remarkable to me. Remarkably contented yet remarkably sleep deprived.  Every time Marc moved, I woke up.  Every time I woke up my neck was 'cricked' and stuck in 'slept on chest' position.  Sleeping next to Marc was like snuggling up with a V8, dude sleeps HOT. 

I happily endured MANY years of the midnight snore/heat/locked neck shuffle.

Until the day I just couldn't.  So I didn't.  I went to the other side of the bed and got some serious sleep.  Baby, I love me some good sleep. 

Now, its cuddle, huddle, cuddle, huddle, BREAK~ go to your opposite corner....SLEEP

Wait.  I would learn to wait.  I would just kick it and watch a little more.  I wouldn't drive so fast and hard to achieve what I wanted.  I would stop.  I would listen.  I would just plain wait patiently.  Your posture in your marriage and in your life is all about the vantage point that brings joy.  When I am pushing myself and others (okay, Marc) I forget to check out the entire vista.

The vista's,......that is where LIFE actually IS. 

I would do better at this one thing for sure.

Probably

but....I am fond of driving :)

It is interesting to me that I keep coming back to myself. 

I keep arriving at the same conclusion.

Over

and

Over.

The conclusion:  I should have trusted myself more.  I should have owned my identity more.

I should have let go of trying so dang hard, and just allowed ideas to come to fruition on their own.

They do.

and yet....

I think the not shaving the toes is still viable advice you should consider, 

unless you want to remember to shave them the rest of your life.

Imagine yourself in retirement with giant bushy toe hair....

I know.....gew

I might not be right about the rest, but about the

TOES

?

DEFINITELY

Editors Note ~ Those are NOT m.y. TOES above.... N.O.T.