"Righting in the Rain"

I'm getting there.....cranking out the pages.......

RAIN = GREAT WRITING WEATHER

Isms, Irks and a Ravenous case of the Crazies

Me? I am a solitary soul. I crave quiet, alone and unfettered like a junkie needs a fix, a fattie needs a powdered donut or a smoker needs a shlag. I like being alone. NO, that's not true. I love it. I relish in it. I get an immediate jolt of gleeful happiness when left alone. For a few moments, I just sit or stand in the quiet and listen. I take my multi thought processing and turn the volume down. I cast the sound of trumpet practice, dance music and drums aside into the mental drawer labeled, "loud for later" and close my eyes. Counting the solitary seconds and enumerating the singularity of solitude I languish. I seriously do, I LANGUISH....linger and feel like laughing out loud hysterically. I am alone! Finally... tee hee hee hee hee, giggle giggle glee glee gleeeeeeeeee

Lately, though......well.....there is someone else in my house in the morning. He is, well..... here. I mean this in the most loving way conceivable, but, .....well. I'm sort of territorial. That's not exactly true. I am extremely territorial. I once pulled out an entire row of mature rhododendrons from beside my house in the dark of night because a neighbor crossed 'the line' between our yards and killed my pumpkins. (promises for this story later, its a classic). My point being, well, I don't like people touching my things!!!!!!! Or occupying my space. There,... its out, for once and for all. I'm a royal jerk. I am mean. I am not good at sharing. I am a preschool teacher. I teach sharing for a living, and well,....I stink at it. Sue me. I am a space hog.

The Ism and Irk is that my perfect, darling and completely guileless husband is now unemployed and well, to put it bluntly......cramping my style. He is a much adored and cherished husband and father. Don't read me too mean here, but,... Doesn't he know after 15 years that I like to walk/run/jog by myself with my earphones in cranked up to the hilt? I don't want to go with anyone else. I like walking by myself! That is why I go alone. To be alone is the reason I go. How could he not know, that there is a 'routine' in the morning we have been following FOREVER and it does not include 'made to order' breakfasts? Is it possible that he doesn't know that EVERY time I get in or out of the car I change the laundry? And, well, if he is home in the day, he should too? While its true, I have 20 minutes between kids heading to school and kids coming to preschool, could he not know that I am under the gun to get things set for preschool and do not have time to talk or navigate my way through our errands and activities for the day right then in those precious minutes before I am Miss Debi?

Adam's face here symbolically says it best. AAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

If I thought he was on a vacation for 3 weeks I would act so differently. I would take all the time and patience and loving attentiveness he needs, wrap it in a pretty bow and deliver it to him on a silver platter every morning gladly.

but.......well......that is not whats happening

it turns out "I" am the one who is adjusting, changing and becoming malleable.

My sense is that it will get better soon, and we will both adjust to this change. I will eventually relish in adding one more tuna sanny to the lunch hour and will eventually miss the companionship....but for now....well.....I've been infected with

A RAVENOUS CASE OF THE CRAZIES





(also, it does not help that we haven't seen the sun in Seattle for weeks on end, if I were to have a brief respite including sunshine and some alone time in our garden, I would surely be cured instantly.)

Why January always bugs me

Like you, I get the de-cluttering thrill of taking down every Christmas decoration. Like many of the homemakers, I take trip after trip to DI or Goodwill to make room for the 'new' stuff. Old stuff out. New stuff in.

then.....

I get itchy. Its possible the perma-rain of January and February start to saturate my cranium and mold the insides of my psyche. True, the gray skies start to get to me. Yes, the foggy phoenix of my existence becomes dull and dreary like the early dark afternoon/evening that seems to rob us of the little bit of extra daylight that makes me want to hum and sizzle.

but....

I am generally not subject to only my surroundings for a healthy attitude. My faith brings me inner sun and shine and glow.

and yet....

stuff starts to get to me - starts to itch my brain - starts to feel rashy and irritated

What are the signs of disgruntledness exactly? Well.....possibly....



Lack of Holiday focus?
Need for daylight?
No extra moola for retail therapy?
One too many soaking wet walks around the block?
Burr in my proverbial saddle?
Hair in my milkshake?

Its like the year is a month and January is PMS.

Yea, I am great at faking it. But, ....truth be told.

I'm ornery and sour and sick of winter.



January, ......there always has to be one, but if we could just skip from December straight to April I wouldn't miss it one bit. Its like someone hit the pause button and forgot to push play.

Somebody push the button!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The TEEN, The TWEEN and The DANCING QUEEN

Oooo, that sounds like a great title to a book doesn't it,"The TEEN, The TWEEN and The DANCING QUEEN"... I like it

Life at our house is changing again. My kids do the strangest things now. For instance, well, .....here are a few examples:

They all bathe themselves - make their own breakfasts - clean their own messes - buckle their own seat belts - put on their own shoes - sit quietly during church - read their own books - find their own coats - blow their own noses - put the lids to the marking pens back on properly - bring me the right stuff when I ask them to - wait in the car safely - wipe their mouths - and do their own hair

Its nice. I like it this way.

but.....

I can't help missing the Teen in his favorite feety jammas, the Tween in his favorite pair of yellow rubber boots, and the Dancing Queen with a baby lotion smelling neck.

Its all been delicious, but the first course has been my favorite part so far :)

Winter Walking

I walk with winter on my lips and cheeks

Taking in the fresh and cold

I think of sunshine

I pray for the tiny baby buds on the tree branches

Come on little babies

you can do it

Bring us

Spring

I'm going to call this,....."Who in their freeee fronkin' right mind WOULDN'T hire Marc Reeves?"

Who in their freeeeee fronkin' mind WOULDN'T hire Marc Reeves



Lets just admit it. He is a major babe. Who wouldn't want to look at him all day?

He is freaking Jedi of life for heck sakes. He literally slays evil with his righteous dominion and family of righteous minions. He is a leader and I'm telling ya, the "FORCE" (proverbial and otherwise)is with him. He owns it actually. Marc IS the force. He is the force for good. Cornered the market on it singlehandedly.



It is also entirely possible that he is the single greatest dad on the planet. He is 100% all the time. Never, ever lets us down. He is present, available, patient, integral, devoted and true. He is always the one who does the hard things. Always.



I would bet my birdie that his work ethic could kick your work ethic's bootie down the street any day. I take that back, he could kick it down the road, teach it how to work harder and longer than everyone else, make sure it never gave up, and then show it by example how to give everything to everyone and be completely unselfish and guile-less. He is the hardest working person I have ever, ever, ever known.



I could also 'gauran-dang-tee' ya I would never have left to New Zealand on my LDS mission if I did not know for a fact that Marc Reeves would be mine when I got back. He and I had been together 1 1/2 years before we served separately on missions. That made it almost 4 years from first kiss to last. Know anyone YOU would wait that long for?



I do.

and

I did.

and ......its been single greatest experience of my life. Should YOU hire Marc?

WHO IN THEIR FREEEE FRONKIN' RIGHT MIND WOULDN'T ????

(oh, and by the way, we live in Seattle WA and he would love to send you a resume ASAP if you are interested, he has a BA in Environmental Science and has 12 years management experience, he is basically a perfect candidate for any company who wants a loyal, dedicated, uniquely effective individual to have as a indispensable part of their work environment and team)

The biased but perfectly accurate Marc Reeves fan club president,

sacajawea

The Big Brother

This is my brother. Matthew Brown. He is an amazing person. One of my heroes.



This is us small. Little bro, little sis we were.



Close we are. Even though, we do not get to see each other much. Or connect much.



When we do. I feel so happy and content and whole. Matt does that with the smallest of things. Like: the sound of his deep voice leaving a message on my machine that says simply, "I love you."



He is someone I believe.

A very rare and treasured knowledge.

He does love me.

I know it.

That makes me feel whole and happy and I just had to share it tonight.

and say....

I love you too Matthew.

xo,
deb