For YEARS
I hid my 'ailment'
Pride kept me quiet
Fear of 'judgement'
Fear of 'labels'
Fear that they wouldn't ask me
Because, well, "you know......she is "s.i.ck."
Pity
I did not want any part of pity
And yet,.....
well,.....
and.....
of course.....
Now, I know what will happen if everybody 'knows'.
*
My 'almostcan'ttakeitanymorethinkiamgoingtodie' moments...
are LIGHTER
My 'whatamigoingtodoaboutmykidsandhusband' moments...
are COVERED
My 'iamgoingtojustpraymywaytothesurface' moments
are OFFERED
Why was I stubborn? What kind of arrogant notion was it to keep it to myself and Marc alone? It ended up being something I could no longer hide. I lost my ability to 'choose privacy'. It was taken away.
Now.
I feel richly and beautifully blessed by those who actually really truly do care and want to help. I am letting them. (most of the time :)
It takes me a while, but eventually I figure stuff out...
hugethanksto
lauranicholeshalynadriannarachellaurajencamilleamysuecathycoleen
There's a story about two couples who meet for dinner. They both have arguments on their way to dinner, but when they arrive at dinner, of course they both fake their way through it and act the loving happy couple. Then on the drive home Couple A says, "Look at Couple B, they are so happy and in love and don't have these awful arguments like us," Couple B says, "Look at Couple A, they are so happy and in love and don't have these awful arguments like us," So rather than going away happier and more enriched from spending time with friends, both couples go home more angry and more dissatisfied then they did before.
ReplyDeleteThere is a great need for sincerity.
wish i could be there to be on your friends list! rephrase...wish YOU could be HERE! i can't leave the sun! miss you though. and super proud, inspired an uplifted by you! love your guts! truly. xoxo
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