r.e.a.l.

I consider myself a 'figure it outer'.

I like to think about ideas until I feel abated and satisfied.

One idea I have been tumbling on the 'optimum dry' cranium cycle is the concept of:

being REAL

What if that means that I feel like being a grump?  Am I allowed  to 'be real' and cuss out the proverbial 'customer service lady' on the phone?  Hey, I'm in a grouchy mood, I'm just 'being REAL'

and

What if that means that I tell you my 'real' feelings about your hairstyle?  Lets say you are a mullet man.  Can I be 'real' and say, "You need to cancel that 'party in the back' action pronto, my man"

No, I don't really think it means that we get a license to 'divluge' our head trash every second we feel inclined to scorn or squelch someone else.  I'm not buying that angle.

Rather, its about deciphering the 'posers' out there.

Come on, you know you've been one.

I have.

I remember when Adam was an infant, we moved and had a RS presidency visit at 9am.  I had taken him to the doctor that day, very early and he was dressed nicely, so was I.  My living room just happened to be clean.  When the doorbell rang, I thought, "Sweet, what a wholesome impression I will make on my new RS leaders."  They will think this is how together I am every morning by 9am!

What I now realize, is that they knew I was a faker, a fraud, and certainly they did not assume that I was 'perfect'. It was dumb luck. Mature women know life is just life and everyday is not pristine.

That is what I think is broken.  I'll even give it a name; PMS= perception management syndrome.  In other words the ridiculous energy, effort and scheming that is called upon to manage other people's perceptions of you and your family.

Hey, I've been very successful in the past at 'marketing' my impressions.  Now, I'm older and a bit wiser and true to my creation, undeniably fallible in EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. I can happily announce that I am in no way perfect and you are welcome to come over anytime, clean or messy, tidy or tossy, plaque filled smiles or ivory like flossy.

HALLELUJAH!!

I am now free to just be real.

That means;

Some days, my car will be trashed, 

 some days it will be clean.

Some weeks, I will read the Sunday School lesson, and

some weeks I will not even be able to find the book.

Sometimes, I will feel like dialing in with my kids,

some days I will wish they would leave me alone.

Some days, I will wish I didn't do "that",

some days I will be complacent.

Sometimes, I will have a beautifully coiffed hairdo,

sometimes it will be a greasy sweat dried ponytail.

If you meet somebody 'perfect', don't buy what they are selling.  You are getting RIPPED.

I am going to guess that behind the 'percieved perfection' there is a closet full of crappola.

Ironically,

I ended up in a RS presidency and on one of those particular visits.  We went to visit a sister with a meticulously manicured household.  We had a pleasant time and as we left I mentioned the pristine nature of the housekeeping.  As we pulled away the RS president said to me, "When a house is that militant, I worry about the kids"

R.E.A.L.-ly???

Mother Nature gave us a SPANKING

Today, I want to do a bit of 'chat smatter' about the mother of all MOTHERS.

Madre de' Naturale ~ Mother Nature ~ AKA "The Boss"

And, while it is true there is not proof of an actual 'Planet Mom'.  I do view the earth that way.  Always giving, teaching, offering, lending, showing me everything.

Maple Valley, my quaint town, took a lesson from her last week.

We got our tails whooped.

And although, I don't think I can bear the repetitive

'OHMYGOSHSNOWISONTHEGROUND'

one more time. I thought I post about a couple derived facts therein.

Fact:  YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE

Fact: YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO YIELD

Fact: YOU WILL ABIDE IN CERTAIN FRUSTRATION

IF YOU DON'T SURRENDER

Fact: WE ARE SUPPOSE TO KNOW HOW TO BE AROUND OUR FAMILIES

WITHOUT DISTRACTION AND LEARN TO

 STRIVE FOR EACH COMFORT GIVEN

Fact: WE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT TO BE PROVIDENTIALLY PREPARED,

IT SHOULD NOT BE A SUPRISE WHEN SHE THROWS A FIT

 AND WE NEED STUFF

Fact: WE ARE GIANT WIMPS

Course' I'm still sort of incredulous that my husband left at 11pm last night and came home today at 3pm because of the 'Microsoftians' insistence on working NO MATTER WHAT. That's 17 hours straight through the night and all day folks. I sure hope that Bill dude is satisfied.  I dunno, if there is ice on the sidewalk, walk on the grass.  Better yet, just go home

and.....get this.....there is another option you can use;

W.A.I.T.

I, for one, am not a woman who likes to be pushed around.  I'm guessing 'Mother Nature' is not fond of it either.  (yes, I am aware 'she' is not actually in existence) I speak symbolically.

The humans need to know their PLACE.  They need to know how to wait to get what they WANT.  They need access to the lessons of PATIENCE.  They need to acknowledge a SURRENDER. 

Stop all the fussin' and stick close to your family

ALONE for the duration

and don't make

HER

come back and give you somethin' to

CRY ABOUT.

Cause'

SHE CAN

(these paintings are the work of Emily Brown and are for sale at present if you are interested)

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edb5k@yahoo.com

Payback is a DEBI, My Rebel Yell Against "The Man"

As a few of you may know, I was given a ticket in December for speeding going 26 MPH.  I was actually going 25 because the 'school zone' near my house is 25MPH.  I saw the school sign and crawled along in front of the school I was passing.  Note: It is actually very difficult to go under 25 MPH, you have to all but stall out and push with your feet like the Flinstones.  Apparently, by that school the speed limit is 20.  A $210.00 ticket later, I drove home with my month undone and sick to my stomach.

Turns out, I had a guardian angel that balmed up this particular wound. 

I should just let it go, but alas, have you met me?

On my way home today, I saw my little 'Christmas Killer'.  There he was again in his dark blue 'stealth box' of radar-ness.  He had actually parked on the other side this time. 

 (mean- old- DAY WRECKER- nit -picker - ticket giver)

I had a few minutes, so I pulled over where he could not see me, around the next curve.

I just parked my 'lil ol' sef' right there beyond his eye line.

Every time a car passed on its way to sure 'ticket-ville',

I flashed my lights

... and had a blast.

Saved some folks from gettin' worked by 'the man'.

WAAAaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaa

I had the same feelin' a few years  ago. 

The exit to our neighborhood can be bothersome if there are large sweeps of traffic.

As I merged one day, a huge granite hauling truck decided he didn't like way I did it.

Okay, so I swung right in front of him. Its my neighborhood, I pay HOA dues, not him.

These trucks are loud, the drivers are generally aggressive.
(FYI ~Tis' entirely possible I am exaggerating about the negative qualities of said truckers, ...)
but...come on, lets finish the story anyway..

He decided to 'teach me' a lesson and pounded the gas and rammed up close to my back bumper, revving and angry and like a giant play ground bully.

I'll admit, it scared me at first.  It did.  I had a rush of adrenaline.

~YET~

Because, well,.... I am not someone you mess with;

Instead of apologetically hitting the gas, I dialed the speedometer down to about 10 mph.

:) WICKED, i know...:) I'm going to H, if I don't hurry and repent :)

Then, I rolled down my window and drummed my fingers alongside the frame of the door in pretend relaxation and boredom.  prrrrt, prrrrt, prrrrt

I then, chanced a look with only my eyes (under sunglasses) in my rear view mirror
 to see the guys face.

It was as red hot as his big red truck.  Like a kettle about to boil and whistle, it was.

I will not pretend I am a lip reader, but I think there were some spittle coated expliatives flying around the front seat of that rig:)

As we approached the intersection, I shot out to a neighboring road and flipped a U, raced around a couple of back roads and scurried home.  He was trying to yell something at me, as we almost were 'side to side' in two lanes as he gunned it to catch up to me parallel.

I think what he was trying to say was,

$#%$%^^)((_)(*&%^$%$#%$%^&^&*(*%&^$#%$^%&^&

I don't know really.  I could not hear him, I was laughing too loud!


Some days, I just crack my own self right up!

BALANCE and the 'Secret'

I've decided I'm far too easily undone.

Balance

That is my true challenge.

I'm either sick or well, my home is either clean or dirty, my brain is either full or empty, my schedule is either maxed out or clear, my edit button is either on 'full alert' or entirely BROKEN.

This year I am going to toss

BALANCE

on the pile and make

everything therein

 SUBMIT.

It seems an impossible thing, balance, everything EQUALLY effort driven.

Why is that?

I don't seem to be able to balance all the columns of my life evenly.

I tend to be in either one column or the other,

but never tending all in their priority scape properly.

My roots, my underpinnings, my foundation, my belief system, my creation demands that I balance.

To allow the most beautiful and best to

 SURFACE,

I must indeed be completely grounded.

Starting a new business makes me want to elbow,  and shove, and paddle faster than everyone else for my spot on the best wave in a professional life.

How do I do that and remain 'present' for my most important calling as a wife and mother?

Can I pull it off, without smashing my surfboard

on the reefs of

materialism and comfort chasing?

What about this sort of artist inside of me?  What about my book?  I have set my sights on finishing this book THIS YEAR.  It must be done, n.o.w.  It is time and I hear this SIREN in my head and have a sense of urgency about completion. I can't ignore that. 

 CAN'T.

WILL NOT.

IGNORE.

 IT

ANYMORE.

So, it's settled right?  I am going to start a business, write a book, be a killer mom, an awesome wife, and continue to focus on my health by exercising and losing weight and running and working out and dancing and lifting weights and strength training and focusing on nutrition and getting enough sleep and drinking enough water and growing my own garden and eating healthy and and and and....

AND

I am going to do it all with Systemic Lupus.  I am going to keep my 'dukes up' and battle and fight and be fierce about not giving in.  I am going to race to my 'dreams' one teeny step ahead of a disease that could, if it wanted, take my life, anytime I let it win.

THAT ALL SOUNDS SCARY

But, I know the SECRET.

I do.

It is simply

HIM

Jesus Christ is real.  He does in fact, know ME.  He wants me to grow and succeed and learn.  I know that like I know all of the struggle and stress of the above goals are IMPOSSIBLE without His help.

I do not launch into my life alone each day to stand without His help.  I'm only the shell, or conduit, or vessel for a rich life blessed by His light and love and joy.  He loves me ANYWAY.  He is absolutely there, I know it.  I believe him and what he taught and I know when I align my life in direct parallel with his I am happier and more joyful and more successful. 

Its not ME.... its Him.

That is how 2012 will work.

I'll do my very best and He will make up the difference.

I am so filled with gratitude for the balance only He gives.

BLOOM Landscaping Launch

CLICK THE ADDRESS BELOW FOR DETAILS

http://bloomwithusinmv.blogspot.com/

Today

YES, I mean RIGHT NOW

We are launching

Bloom Landscape 

Please click the link above if you would be interested.

We do residential and commercial, consultations and installations.

All of it, better than anyone else, guaranteed.

Previous accounts include Intel, Nike, and Microsoft.

2012 Special

If you own a business, secure us a contract doing the maintenance , we will do your private residence for a year

 at no cost.

Coming January 2012

Business Cards CHECK

Letterhead  CHECK

Website  CHECK

Business Plan WRITTEN

January Launch

a.l.m.o.s.t.

heheheheheheheheheheheheheehehehe

Woot Woot

Curious?

Christmas Came

CHRISTMAS CAME

and so did HE

I snuck a peek

It looked like this

*

Dozens of people coming together to 'Save a moment' sent from far away, and stolen was returned, and then some, to a family with young children.  Magic renewed.
I cried a lot from joy.

My two youngest who wanted 2 things we couldn't afford, were given those two exact things from their older brother.  He 'just happened to have bought himself those' things this year.  He GAVE THEM UP( His DS and his I TOUCH) to his younger siblings, his idea. I wept with happiness at the huge heart that has been created in this home.  Wow.

I had a bad day with several 'money soaking events' early in the month.  "Someone" healed the monetary wound for us so we could still make Christmas happen over here.  I bawled.

THERE HAVE BEEN LOTS OF TEARS OF SHEER GRATITUDE

Lots

He touched our hearts through EVERYONE

I'm still choked up and heart overflowing.

Beautiful Christmas

when HE gets

INVITED