The strangest things are happening around here this summer.
Like
My kids making their own sandwiches at lunchtime...
or
Doing a seriously great job at doing the dishes
or
Following house rules about screen time and scriptures and snacking
or
Jumping in the car quickly, dressed and with shoes on
or
Being responsible enough to be home alone
or
Going to the park with friends
or
Making yummy salads at dinner
or
Bathing without being reminded
or
Taking charge of the gardening schedule ( okay, i'm bragging a little...., cleverly though)
but
ITS FREAKING MOM OUT!!!!
You see...
I had these small sweet babies to care for for the last 15 years. They needed help tying shoes, and cutting meat, and wiping faces, and buckling seat belts, and finding coats, and well EVERYTHING!!!
Yesterday, we went to the pool. I played with Lils in the shallow end for a half the time and then, well, .... believe it or not, just went and swam laps for 30 minutes. She had only her brothers and no life jacket even and I just LEFT!
What!?????
I used to pine over all the stuff I couldn't do. I would think to myself that "One day, I will just get to do what "I" want finally. Ah, wouldn't it be nice to just run to the store ALONE! for once!!!
Well...
Its not that great.
I was pining over nothing.
I go to the store by myself all the time now. I can even tell the kids I am going jogging and will be back in an hour, and just walk out the door!!! By myself!!!
What?!!!! When did this happen?
Yesterday, in the pool. I jumped back in to Miss Lil, I grabbed her up and held her warm and wet cheek close to mine. I swirled her around the pool like a little mermaid and felt that bond. You know, the one from when she was a baby and clung to me in the water and I could feel her warm and nervous little body taking safety in my arms.
I LOVED THAT
and
I LOVE THIS too.
But...
ALL my 'freedom' is, well, 'overrated'.
I wish there was a rewind button. I miss warm baby cheeks in cool water so much I could just cry.
Think Adam would mind if I picked him up and carried him around the pool?!
The funny thing is that HE could do that for ME now :)
Oh, it's always sad when things change! In fact, I hate it!
ReplyDeleteBut the wonderful thing about life is that joy can never end, no matter how much changes.
I read your post this morning and all day I've been reminded of how grateful I should be to have sweet baby cheeks to kiss and chubby thighs to squeeze and silly little boys who still need me so much... even though I had to run back in the house no less than 4 times when we were just trying to get out to one store this afternoon! Why do they ever get in the car without shoes on?? But it will be weird when they are responsible and independent, and most of all I know I'll miss the sweet little voices and sitting on my lap and their baby soft skin and hair. So thanks for reminding me to enjoy it while I can :)
ReplyDeleteYou made me cry. Today was Cy's baptism and I kept crying because my baby was big! He's my last one and it hurt.
ReplyDeleteThanks Debi- I really needed that. I'm in that place where I just want to be ALONE sometimes! I will make an effort to enjoy those moments and not let them pass me by.
ReplyDelete