TIPS FOR “BACK TO SCHOOL”
No one has said anything better than Joe Fox.( F. O.X.) from “You’ve Got Mail.”about the begging of Fall and the ominious school year attached to said season. This quote is the quitessential Autumnal observation of all time.
Joe’s on line personna sends this wish to his secret friend in response to a discussion about Fall,
“ I would send you a boquet of neatly sharpened pencils.” Pure genius. He just captured the entire bittersweet conundrum that is ‘BACK TO SCHOOL’ time for all parents and children.
Nothing feels quite so assaulting to the parental eyeball as the first sighting of the “Back To School” signs in the retail establishments I frequent. I feel like those reminders are a theif, a blaggard, or a purse snatcher that needs to be run down and caught for daring to invade my ‘summer’s respite’. . . That first sign IS… A proverbial stab to the parental eyeball…
“BACK TO SCHOOL!” “Come and get em’!!! Come one, come all….” “Got your pencil top erasers right here folks”! “Binders!” “Composition books!” “ Pee Chee folders!” “Number 2 Ticonderoga pencils!” Lined Paper! Unlined paper! Mechanical Pencils! Non mechanical pencils! Permanent Markers! Dry board markers! You want em’? We got em’!!!
The internal response of every parent in existence? The mental visual? How about HITTING THE BREAKS IN YOUR CAR GOING 50 MPH?! No! No! No! AVERT THE EYES!!!!! And while you might be ready for the kids to go back to school, you are not ready to SHOP FOR IT! If you don’t see it then it is not real….KEEP WALKING! Pull your cap down and AVERT! ABORT! FLEE!
Yet, you did. You DID see it….. BUSTED.
They win. Again. The acrid assurance of retail’s injection to the brain… You now begin to PANIC internally, although externally going about your shopping in calm mildness listening to the ‘easy listening’ rhythms bleat across the white tile floor and bounce up to the flourscent bulbs occasionally flicking their rancourous distain for your presence… You MUST fold. You MUST participate. You MUST add ‘Back to School Shopping’ to your summer. . . You L.O.S.E. Goodby Summer. Hello Fall.
As a mother of 3 mostly GROWNUPISH small ones, who now out weigh and out ‘height’ me by YARDS AND scales worth of weight and tallness… These are a few tips to assuaging the mental battle between the visual assault of the ‘Back To School’ signs and the mental posture of retaining what is left of summer and your last ounce of summer ease and relaxation.
The internet seems to like to give you “10 tips” for nearly everything of late. I shall follow suit:
Tip 1: BEAT THEM.
That’s right. Beat them. Get there FIRST. FASTEST. AND WITH FURY. If you see a fellow parent meandering the isles near ‘Back to School’ items looking non chalant. Don’t fool yourself. THEY are your competition! It may stay your own cranium cabinets, but if they look ‘parental’ you ARE in a race! No mistake! So GET THERE FIRST!!! I mean AUGUST 1ST. Do it. Just bite into that bitter last slice of mealy summer watermelon and DO ALL THE SHOPPING by Aug 1st! Why? You will avoid about 70% of all potential problems with this stragety. You WILL get the cutest, cheapest lunch box. You WILL get the last bizarre/random/unique/annoying request of the pre-calc teacher like . . . Find the secret sticky notes on isle 11 by the yarn and mega flashlight in POLKA DOT GREEN. You WILL beat those other parents to it and save yourself the eye tick indusing PAIN of shopping at 3 other stores.. Get it over with. NOW. Keep all supplies at home in your personal vault until Sept 1. Then, REVEAL. As you finish up your summer plans you can pass those isles like a 7 year old with first dibs on riding the foot bar on the cart. Just run and jump up and yell, “SUCKERS!” as you fly by this same isle late August. “I finished 4 weeks ago!!!!” “Woot!” “Woot” !!!!!
Tip 2: GO MEET THE TEACHER.
Granted if you have a high school student, you will likely have to pass on this opportunity. However, if your child is still in elementary school , you need to rip off the bandaid and just go DO IT. There is one single reason why. If your childs teacher meets you and you make it known you are paying attention to what the teacher is doing. THEY WILL BE ACCOUNTABLE to you. Working with your child the rest of the school year they will have a mental note of who you are and if they will be expected to perform. Simple as that. On the flip side, those students that do not have a initial parential connection with their teacher do not fare as well and are not treated with as much reguard as those students who have an advocate. You may not like knowing that but it is true nonetheless.
Tip 3: EVERYTHING
Send your child with EVERYTHING they might need if they were left unattended the first 3-4 days of school. Fact is, there are many many ‘behavior’ issues to resolve those first few days and your child may take a second seat to a teacher trying to solve behaviors of other children that might not be safe for others. An example of this is packing a water bottle in their backpack. If they have what they need they are less likely to have to wait and therefore become stressed. Don’t pack snacks with peanuts in them until you know whats up with that classroom and its peanut particular residents. Even giving them peanut butter in the morning and sending them to class with ‘peanut butter breath’ can be life threatening to other classmates. So be considerate
Tip 4: SUCK IT UP
Seriously. You need to TEACH them how to deal with dissapointment, confusion, communication errors, unfairness, etc… That is partially what they are in school to learn. The rest of their lives they will be working with or associating with people they would not necessarily ‘CHOOSE’ to spend time with. They will have to know how to deal with these people. Consider it an opportunity to help your child deal with stressors while they have you to GUIDE ( not solve ) them through it championing their issues. They will not always have you to do that, and while they do, take advantage of it.
Tip 5: EVEN STEVEN
When dealing with all things ‘Ego’ like “He doesn’t like me”, “She made fun of me”, “He called me FOUR EYES”… This sort of fodder can be sorted out very quickly with one stragety. Introduce to your child the principle of ‘Even Steven’. Look out for someone else who might be having this same experience and go help them feel better. If you are being left out… Find someone who is being left out and go include them. If you are being made fun of,… find someone who is being made fun of and go say a kind thing to them. If you are being ignored…. Go find someone who might be feeling ignored and listen to them. You get the drift. ‘Even Steven’ means it creates BALANCE and it also introduces being ‘others centered’ to your child. A life skill they would do well to incorporate in perpetum.
Tip 6:
STINK PREVENTION a.k.a. OLFACTORY OVERLOAD a.k.a. SOAP IS YOUR BEST FRIEND
Do everything you can to make sure they do not stink in anyway, form or function. This includes your pre-teen or adolescent who refuses to be told what to do. Introduce this acroynm to them early in life and teach them to self assess throughout their formative years. W.A.T.C.H. “Have you checked your watch? Wardrobe. Armpits. Teeth. Cleanliness. Hair. School is difficult enough, don’t let them show up smelling like a pack of wet dogs.
Tip 7:
HIDE NOTES FOR THEM
I don’t care if you have a senior in high school or a college student. A note from mom or dad is a homerun on a long day of academics. It can be a nice quote or just an ‘I love you’. Any kind note from a parent can be a day changer.
Tip 8:
ALLOW WANDERLUST
Allow the summer weather and wanderlust to continue through the first week of school. Set up good habits but don’t be a drill sergent. It will be cold soon enough and there will be zero options of going out to enjoy the park and outdoors. Don’t bank the afternoons entirely with structure. Allow for the shorter days to introduce themselves naturally.
Tip 9:
GRATITUDE
Teach your child to be grateful for the education that is given. Instead of waiting until ‘teachers day’ or the very last day of school. When something effective happens between your student and their instructor remind them to write a thank you note, college, kindergarten or grade school. This infuses your teacher with energy and reminds them that not only you, but your child, is watching what they do and grateful for even small successes.
Tip 10:
THEN LET GO
Allow your shoulders to slide back into place in yourback… tell the temples on the sides of your head its okay to decompress. Take a deep breath and just go to a quiet place and listen. Yes. Listen. Listen to the sound of quiet. The little birds outside perhaps…. The quiet ticking of your watch… Things you have not heard in the summer months. Walk around your space or your home or your houseboat ( I include this because I wish! )… Note the amount of dirty towels; Pool towels, grassy towels, beach towels….. Look through all the foggy handprints at the seams of the sliding doors…. Count the shoes in the entry… They are all beautiful in their own way today. All. They represent, not only the chaos of another summer come and gone, but the LIFE you have nurtured and grown in your own small but signigificant sphere of influence. . . The close of summer for the kids begins when that school bell rings… But, remember, it doesn’t acutally end for you until September 23 at Summer solstice. . . So forget being a ‘stay at home’ parent! Go be a PLAY AT HOME parent! Enjoy YOUR OWN summer!
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