Bur In My Saddle, Rock in My Shoe and Beef in the Wind

Mrs. Mormon Nicey Nice sometimes gets her knickers in a twist too.

Here are a few reasons why:

Suburban racecar drivers. Racing from light to light, switching lanes willy nilly, and revving from every red light to 'BEAT EVERYONE' to the next red light. What? You are O.N.E. car in front of me and we are both sitting at the SAME stoplight. Your cool.

Those creepers who leave 'TAPED!' fliers on my garage door. Yea, I LOVE the information coming from you schlomo! If you I ever catch you and your little roll of tape on my property you will leave wearing it.

The gurfy rebound smell from hot men processing processed meats. May I illuminate on this reflection by sharing a smelly tale? Yes? It goes like this, RUSH concert, banging head 50 year old next to me, and multiple distracting windy beefy washes from seat 5V. Help me, it was nasty.

How my darling but extremely tall husband uses the visor in our SUV as a personal file folder. He never needs the visor because he is so tall. Thus, when the likes of my 5'6 self flips down the visor because of the sun, I get a beautiful cascading lap full of envelopes.

Dudes with 'small men complexes'. Making up for their little selves in a variety of obnoxious and ineffectual 'smoke screen' wannabe ways. It never works. We all KNOW. Okay? Okay.



I'm riding my bike. Lady in VW beetle pulls closer and rolls window down. "Good for you", she says. "My thought, yeah, you too lady, now just move along and just bite that piece of my bum hanging off the back of the bike seat. "Good for you too!, you are riding in a car". Kiss my grits, and just let me ride my bike in peace nosey Nelly.

The marathon kids birthday party. First we are going to come pick them up at like 7 am, go to breakfast, then go to the circus, hit a movie, go to play laser tag, hit the bouncy house, have some pizza, come back home to open presents, of course, start a campfire in the backyard, make smores, do a 'pretend' sleep over, tell ghost stories, play games, make homemade pajamas and you can pick them up about 2 am.
YEP, GLAD YOUR KID WAS BORN AND ALL, BUT CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY CHILD BACK NOW?....

Unleashed dogs in public places. You bet, I know, "He is a sweetheart and would NEVER bite anybody". Yeah, nobody in YOUR family! True. But my fam, from the other 'doggie den', that's another story.



Score keepers. Seriously, I can't even begin to gripe long enough about this one....or loud enough.... Suffice it to say, "Grow up". Who gives a rip? NOT ME. I couldn't 'keep score' between people if I tried. I honestly don't even NOTICE that brand of nonsense. If you try to 'keep score' with me, you will just end up mad, because I will never notice and beat you anyway.

Gimmick buyers. Loathe. If its not based on correct principles it will not last. There is no EASY button. You have to work hard for what you achieve, any crappy freebie short cut is for idiots. Don't ask me to dinner and then pop up some dry board with a triangle on it. Don't.

Over wavers. We have a somewhat darling little landscaper guy with white hair and gleaming teeth and an absolutely overly hyper, nonsensical waving reflex.... Its uncanny. I drive in and out of my neighborhood A LOT. If we have already, 'pleasantly waved', can I just please drive by unassailed by rabid friendliness? Do we have to wave EVERY TIME? How ya goin' get any work done with all that dang wavin' sir? Easy on the wave o' meter, thinking its broken.




ITS POSSIBLE I NEED A BREAK FROM REPETITION. YEAH,I'M SORTA DUE. YOU CAN CALL ME A MEANIE, BUT THAT RHYTHMES WITH SOMETHING JUEVINILLLLLLLEY FUNNY AND THATS ANOTHER POST ENTIRELY.

Time to get the 'bur outta my saddle', 'rock outa m'shoe' and 'turn on the fan' people. Thats all.

:)