Don't Mess With Her Pumpkins

DON'T MESS WITH HER PUMPKINS

 A story about loving plants and not messing with your neighbor,

especially if your neighbor is ME

While it's true that I am a good neighbor, and a Mormon.  Tis' not true that I am a person you can bully or boss around per my 'churchiness'. 

Just because I go to church doesn't mean I have to let you treat me like dirt.

I turn cheeks, I go the extra mile, but......

I get massively ticked off if you

KILL MY PLANTS

For honk sakes, I think God would too.

Ever heard of what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah when they broke the rules?

How about that whole flood the earth situation with Noah?

"HE" doesn't take guff either. Thus, my rationale for protecting my 'territory'.

Some folks have a funny perception of Mormon women in general.  Cupcake bakers they are.  Carpool drivers they be. Happy homemakers they sit. Baby makers we are labeled.

Yes

I am all of the above.

AND

I am also

Strong, tenacious, capable, indominable, unyielding, and

TERRITORIAL

Believe it or not, I loathe

LONG, DETAILED, MULTI-'ADJECTIVED' AND 'ADVERBED' STORIES

(Unless, of course. your last name is Steinbeck, or Hemingway, then I am totally "IN".)

So here is the short version of :

"Don't Mess With Her Pumpkins"

I bought a house and the land around it.

My neighbors had decided the land next to my house was theirs.

I pay a mortgage payment every month that proves otherwise.

They didn't like it when I planted pumpkins in MY OWN YARD.

They sent their degenerate 'pre-prison-immate' son to kill said pumpkins.

I saw it.

My pumpkins died in 2 days right where he had been in the soil.

I wrote them a note, and asked them to leave them alone.

They did not.

I removed some rhododendrons THAT I OWNED from the front yard to the backyard.

She threw a metal folding chair on my husbands car.

She threw fencing in my driveway.

She wrote nasty letters to the HOA with lies in them.

She swore at me in front my my little kids

She was angry.

I ignored her.

I planted sunflowers that became VERY TALL on that side.

Her daughter told my neighbor that 'said felon' killed them on behalf of his mother.

I confronted professor jail bird.

He admitted it. Said he was sorry.

Fast forward to this year.

I'm watering my hollyhocks.

The witchy neighbor is in her yard.

She pulled out her valiant IQ and said, "B(*&^%"

I calmly walked my son into the house.

I then went to her front door.

DING DONG

The witch is dead.

End of Story.

The moral of the story

DON'T.  MESS.  WITH.  MY.  PUMPKINS.